S3Ep35|| Sober Powered with Gill Tietz
In this conversation, I’m joined by the founder of Sober Powered Media, Gill Tietz. We dive deep into what it takes to reclaim your life when you become a non-drinker. From letting your emotions be as they are to funneling them elsewhere, Gill has some great advice on how to release the anger in your sober journey.
So, whether you’re thinking about ditching the booze or you’re 10 years sober, this episode will teach you a few tips to keep in your sober toolkit.
Gillian Tietz is the host of Sober Powered, a top 100 mental health podcast, and the founder of Sober Powered Media, a podcast network that helps creators grow, market, and monetize their podcasts. She has a master's in biology and has worked in research labs at companies including Pfizer and BioNTech. Getting sober in 2019 inspired her to start her podcast to help others understand why addiction happens and develop the coping skills they need to stay sober. After 2 years of consistent, hard work she left her career as a biochemist to start her network.
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EP 35 - Gill Tietz
[00:00:00] Cait: I thought in sobriety, if I wasn't drinking, I'd get this ah, sober numbing. And that is not what happens. That is not what happens. You still feel, you still get triggered. You are not absent from your life, you're more present. Which feels really overwhelming at first. And then you learn what you're saying, like your tools and the eye roll tricks of like walking and journaling and figuring it out with patience, kindness, and like stillness almost. But you're never going to be numb again.
[00:00:34] Cait: And that's kind of the most beautiful part of it.
[00:00:38] Cait: Welcome to the Clearheaded podcast, your guide to sober care. I'm your host, Cait. And I'm so glad that you're here. Maybe you're on your way to work or you're ready to wind down for the night, whatever the case may be - I'm really happy to be here with you.
[00:00:54] Cait: All of these episodes drop in on people's moments of clarity surrounding their sobriety. Before we get started on this conversation, I want to ground each other with a little bit of breathwork. Let's start by taking a big, deep breath in...and out.
[00:01:14] Cait: Okay. Let's get Clearheaded.
[00:01:18] Cait: This conversation with Gill left me feeling inspired and honestly more seen.
[00:01:25] Cait: We talk about so many things, but we really talk about the feelings that you experience when you take alcohol out of your life. She has a bachelor's in chemistry, a master's in biology and started Sober Powered, her sober brand that has a podcast, a sober powered podcast, an incredible Instagram page. And has even made the pivot to start helping…
[00:01:49] Cait: …other people figure out how to take their sober podcast and make it profitable and make it a long term thing. There's so many things that we talk about, but the most important takeaway that I can't wait for you to dive into with us is how it's normal to feel a lot of feelings. When you first get sober, let's dive into it.
[00:02:14] Cait: If you can take me back with you to the time, right before you got sober, you stopped drinking. What was your moment of clarity or what were your moments of clarity leading up to that big aha moment?
[00:02:31] Gill: So I had two that I can think of. The first one happened when I had stopped drinking for 90 days. And it happened around like...around like 60 days, something like that.
[00:02:43] Gill: I realized like, wow, I haven't felt suicidal or anxious in about 60 days.
[00:02:53] Cait: Wow.
[00:02:53] Gill: Isn't that interesting? And I realized like, it was my drinking that was making me feel that way. Unfortunately, after 90 days, I determined I must be cured and can moderate now. So I drank again and then I saw all of it came back and I realized,
[00:03:18] Gill: eventually, it took a couple months of blowing up my life. But eventually I realized like you only drink one way. So I needed to have that experience where first I realized like all of my suffering was a direct result of my drinking.
[00:03:35] Cait: Yeah.
[00:03:36] Gill: And then experience two, where there's no like amount of a break, that's going to like reset my tolerance, break the bad habit, like all that stuff.
[00:03:47] Gill: No amount of break is going to change the way that I drink. And those two things together finally allowed me to accept that I need to stop.
[00:03:58] Cait: What was the process like emotionally from having kind of a one solution that you thought for a while, which is that I just needed to take a break, kind of be cured, and then I could go back to it.
[00:04:11] Cait: And then realizing the deeper issue of actually this needs to be something that I don't go back to.
[00:04:21] Gill: It was really depressing. So I did actually moderate in the beginning after the 90 days, which then just reinforced like, look at me, I'm cured.
[00:04:31] Cait: I know. Yeah.
[00:04:32] Gill: But then that was because I was isolating and not socializing and like really controlling the situation.
[00:04:39] Gill: And then once I started drinking my normal way, again, it's just like, come on, like… this again? Like, why is this happening to me? Why am I such a loser? Why can't I control myself? What's wrong with me? Why didn't this break help? It helped other people. So it was a lot of like shame and low self-worth. And then when I did finally accept that I needed to actually quit forever and not just like take a break…
[00:05:10] Gill: …it was depressing. I was worried everyone was going to call me an alcoholic and everybody was going to gossip about me. And I was worried that no one would want to hang out with me anymore. Like I had a lot of worries about like other people. And I was worried, how would I go on vacation? Like, how would I even live life without...
[00:05:31] Cait: ...totally.
[00:05:31] Gill: My favorite thing.
[00:05:33] Cait: Yeah. And now when you look at those examples, like, I guess...I look at that kind of stuff. And I go, oh my gosh, I wouldn't want to now, like, I couldn't picture another birthday getting blackout drunk and like waking up and starting my next year of my life hungover. But it is crazy how that perspective changes so drastically.
[00:05:55] Cait: And you almost can't describe it until you go through that perspective change. All of the labels that I heard you, kind of like, feeling I felt too. And I think it's really common for people to feel grief for losing the, like, opportunity that you have in your mind of having a relationship with alcohol.
[00:06:15] Cait: And shame and fear and all of those things are super common.
[00:06:23] Cait: I kind of have a two-parter question for you. One, did you find that your worries came true? Like, did you have people that broke up your friendships? Did you have people that gossiped about you? And two, were you able to redefine how you were feeling after experiencing any of those things? If they were true and if they did happen?
[00:06:48] Gill: Yes and yes. So to my knowledge, no one has gossiped about me. Maybe people like when they found out they were like, you know, I've had...
[00:07:00] Cait: ...yeah.
[00:07:01] Gill: So I have added my podcast to my LinkedIn. In the past two months. And I have had a lot of former coworkers, all of a sudden, very interested in checking. So it's not so much gossip.
[00:07:14] Gill: It's just like, oh my God, I didn't know. I did have some friends that didn't want to be friends with me anymore.
[00:07:21] Cait: Yeah.
[00:07:21] Gill: And that just broke my tiny little sober heart in the beginning. Because I thought like, again, what's wrong with me? Like, see? Your fear about sobriety was true. Now no one's going to want to hang out with you.
[00:07:36] Gill: And I was able to reframe it and it took time. And I realized, like I only hung out with people that wanted to drink the way that I wanted to drink. Doesn't mean they all had a bunch of problems. It just means that they enjoyed binge drinking on occasion, where I enjoyed doing it on a daily basis.
[00:07:55] Cait: Yeah.
[00:07:55] Gill: But they didn't see that. And I did have friends that wanted to have like a drink and they used to infuriate me and I didn't want to hang out with them. And...
[00:08:06] Cait: ....yeah.
[00:08:06] Gill: I realized like if I had a friend that got sober, I would have no interest in hanging out with them. I want to be around, like, all they're happy sober stuff…
[00:08:16] Gill: …well, I'm miserable and blacked out?
[00:08:18] Cait: Yeah.
[00:08:19] Gill: So I realized like, it's not me at all. It's just our thing that we had in common binge drinking. Now we don't have that in common. So why would they want to go out with me when they want to binge drink?
[00:08:30] Cait: That component that in the beginning that you said, like it broke my sober little heart in the beginning - is so important to hear because it doesn't mean it hurt any less.
[00:08:41] Cait: And it doesn't mean that anybody who's maybe having those same fears, and in that phase of starting to question if it's something they should do and rolling through all of the scenarios of the heartbreak, right? To know that it's a fraction of the part of your life after you make that choice.
[00:09:01] Cait: On the flip side, I found that in being sober, being a non-drinker, I've been able to cultivate, although less-quantity wise friendships. Like I'm not this social girl anymore. I don't always have people to hang out with and hit up. But the relationships I do have are so much more clear and defined and valuable. Are you there? Did you find that? How did you go about finding newer friendships?
[00:09:30] Gill: Yeah, that was hard for me because I've never been a pro at making friends.
[00:09:35] Gill: I was bullied for basically like all of school. So I never really had any friends. So I went to college and became an adult without really understanding, like, how do you make a friend? Or like, how do you, what do you do with friends? So then -
[00:09:53] Cait: ...yeah.
[00:09:54] Gill: Eventually I just connected with people over drinking. So I didn't really understand any other way.
[00:10:00] Gill: What happened mostly is a lot of people I already knew came back and then we had a stronger bond. Like, now the people that infuriated me before, because they didn't want more than one drink… Now we could actually like hang out. And they, they were friendships where they actually liked me and they wanted to talk to me and like same thing for me liking them and stuff.
[00:10:25] Gill: And I made a lot of friends online. The sober community is so nice. And we all just want to support each other. So a lot of online friends and then a lot of just like old friends that kind of were in the background became really close friends.
[00:10:40] Cait: Yeah. That's so refreshing. I haven't found that yet, but I mean, I honestly didn't even realize until you said it, but like the people in my life, when I was drinking that could just have a drink, totally infuriated me.
[00:10:56] Cait: Like I was, I didn't get it. I never understood how, like my cousin who's a nurse could have a bottle of wine with only one glass out of it for weeks. I never understood that. And it would make me feel like...judgey. And I'd just like, get to this mean place. Even it didn't come out, but it was all circulating inside.
[00:11:21] Cait: And I honestly think you gave me an aha moment right now. Like that's so crazy. Because it's true. I didn't even realize it.
[00:11:29] Gill: Yeah.
[00:11:29] Cait: The steps towards like letting go of anger in those situations. Like, whether it be with yourself or people around you or situations like, since you've already gave me a really big aha moment, maybe you can enlighten me further.
[00:11:45] Cait: Like, do you have any tips on...or what's your method of like releasing that frustration, anger in any of those categories with yourself, with friends, with situations, from that time in your life of drinking?
[00:12:00] Gill: Anger is so hard for me. That was the emotion that I felt the strongest. When I stopped drinking, I thought like, okay, I stopped drinking. Problem solved.
[00:12:13] Gill: Let's have a great life now. And then all of a sudden I'm so angry all the time and I didn't even know why. And when you don't know why you're angry, it's really hard to work through it. So I would say the first step is to do some self discovery and like kind of understand what's going on in your head and time, unfortunately, no one likes that one.
[00:12:37] Gill: But what helped me a lot too, is learning how to like release anger in a good way. Often, like we have a feeling that we deem as bad, is a bad way to feel. I shouldn't feel angry. This is wrong. And we try to stuff it down and make it go away. And that just makes it boil over and come back even stronger.
[00:13:02] Gill: But if you can learn to release anger or release anxiety, or like whatever feeling you have, it actually goes away and you learn to deal with it. So I learned like, for anger specifically, it's such a high energy emotion. Like when you're angry, you're like buzzing. Like you can't sit still. So, do something with that.
[00:13:27] Gill: If you're very energetic and you can't sit still that's when you do the things like go on a walk. Go on a run, like call someone and vent like crazy, like as fast as you can talk. Go to the gym and like… I've set so many PR’s at the gym from just being insanely angry.
[00:13:48] Cait: Oh my gosh. That's it. Like makes sense. It's like taking that and reframing it and like claiming it as something productive rather than giving the power away to the emotion. And it's like, there's such a duality to that. Because like you do have to give the power to the emotion at the same time in order to feel it, you kind of have to give it over.
[00:14:08] Cait: I don't know the study exactly. But there was like, a study out there. I'll try to do my sources and put it in the notes for anybody to read, but that like feelings when they're absolutely felt only last about 90 seconds. That's like the course that it runs through in your brain. But where we get stuck is like analyzing our feelings or shutting our feelings and that prolongs that...that anger, that grief, that resentment, that jealousy.
[00:14:37] Cait: So feeling it in its entirety, for as long as you can muster, will allow it to run its course more. And I think that that goes into exactly what you're saying. Like take it, feel it, funnel it. Funnel it into a creative endeavor, funnel it into exercise, funnel it into blasting off an email, like funnel it. And let it be its full power.
[00:15:02] Cait: Since you've kind of learned these tools and learned and are practicing how to funnel or how to reframe. What's been like the biggest change that you've seen in your life so far?
[00:15:15] Gill: I'm really calm.
[00:15:16] Cait: Mm.
[00:15:17] Gill: Before I was offended all the time. Everyone was out to get me. I always had bad luck. Things never went my way.
[00:15:27] Gill: I could, you know, I could go on and on with all variations of that same thing.
[00:15:31] Cait: Totally.
[00:15:32] Gill: I felt overwhelmed every moment of the day, basically. Which makes you choose unhealthy things like alcohol and food or yelling at people to cope with the overwhelm. But since I've learned to reframe and to release feelings, instead of stuffing them down, I'm calm.
[00:15:53] Gill: I get over things quicker. I still have like really big feelings. Things still do really, really upset me. And like just drive me crazy and I get very overwhelmed. I still have those experiences, but using these tools that we're talking about allows them to fade away faster. Like I've done... I like to look at everything, kind of, scientifically. And take my worth and like morality out of it and just look at it as like a thing. It's like a case study.
[00:16:29] Gill: And that's how I look at my life. It's just a case study. It's an example. There's no morality to it. And when I look at my past, when I've had a very similar trigger, get activated and I drank to cope with it, it took weeks. I lived with that overwhelm and the anger and feeling upset about whatever the thing happened for weeks.
[00:16:55] Gill: Every day, all day for weeks. It consumed my life and I would just get drunk every day to try to deal with it. And then it would continue to consume my life. And in sobriety I've had like, basically the same trigger that I had when I was drinking. And I don't drink. And then I do other stuff like this stuff that makes us roll our eyes.
[00:17:17] Gill: And, I still feel -
[00:17:19] Cait: ...like what? Like breathwork and meditation…
[00:17:21] Gill: Yeah. All that stuff.
[00:17:22] Cait: …and going for a walk?
[00:17:23] Gill: Yep. Yeah. A walk. Like, ugh, journal. Like anything that makes you roll your eyes. If you do that stuff, you'll feel better later. And I've noticed like, even when I have the biggest trigger ever, I wake up the next day and I'm better.
[00:17:42] Gill: And then I wake up the next day and I'm better. And I still feel upset about it, but it's not consuming my entire life where it did before, for just weeks straight. I couldn't even like, exist without obsessing over this trigger. And now like, I'll get upset about it for a few hours and then I'll be able to reclaim my life again.
[00:18:05] Gill: And it doesn't mean that it went away. It just means that now I have the tools not to let it consume me.
[00:18:11] Cait: Yes, reclaiming your life. That's such a good way to put it. Because I think this misconception that I had when I was like, I'm going to get sober. And I tried like, you know, I'm going to do 30 days. And then I make it to day two and I'd be blackout drunk that night because this weight that we put on the expectation of being sober and not drinking means, in my head,
[00:18:35] Cait: And I don't know if anybody else can relate or you can relate to this. I was drinking to numb. So I thought, but that numbness was making me anxious and I was ruining things. And I thought it was because I was blacked out that I was making all these bad decisions, but what I was still wanting was to be numb.
[00:18:53] Cait: So I thought in sobriety, if I wasn't drinking, I'd get this ah, sober numbing. And that is not what happens. That is not what happens. You still feel, you still get triggered. You are not absent from your life. You're more present. Which feels really overwhelming at first. And then you learn what you're saying, like your tools and the eye roll tricks of like, walking and journaling and figuring it out with patience, kindness, and like, stillness almost. But you're never going to be numb again.
[00:19:28] Cait: And that's kind of the most beautiful part of it. Anyways, I guess I was just realizing that because it is like a reclaiming of your life. You do take the power back. But there's a lot of work that comes with that power.
[00:19:41] Cait: So, you decided to get sober. What was, like, the process like immediately after and when does business come into that timeline?
[00:19:52] Gill: So, right after I just tried to, like, survive the next day. Like day one, you just gotta like, hang on.
[00:20:02] Cait: Yeah.
[00:20:02] Gill: And get some mozzarella sticks and just like, just wait for the day to end, really. That's...
[00:20:09] Cait: ...yes.
[00:20:09] Gill: That's what I did on day one. I just waited for it to be over.
[00:20:13] Cait: Yeah.
[00:20:13] Gill: Day two, I was a little more normal and like hangover free and all that.
[00:20:17] Gill: And that's when a lot of us like, oh, I deserve a drink.
[00:20:21] Cait: Yes.
[00:20:22] Gill: I listen to podcasts. I listen to Craig Beck. I don't know if you know his work, he's my favorite. He's so funny and he took something that's so shameful and just makes you feel terrible about yourself. And he made it like, kind of funny. Like all of his content, isn't funny, but he would, he sprinkles in these little jokes that would help me.
[00:20:45] Gill: And his perspective is just amazing. So I would just binge his podcast and I would go to work and I'd put my headphones in, which is, you know, the universal signal, like do not speak to me. And I would just listen to my podcast and survive.
[00:21:01] Cait: Yeah.
[00:21:01] Gill: And I didn't do anything for support at all because I'm different from everybody else.
[00:21:09] Gill: I don't need anything. I can do this on my own, like all that. So I was really angry and irritable and emotional.
[00:21:18] Cait: Yeah.
[00:21:18] Gill: And then I started getting support in month four. So I quit right before quarantine. So, when I was four months sober, everybody went home and I thought like, well, no one knows, like, what I'm doing anymore for work since I'm home.
[00:21:36] Gill: So might as well go to therapy. So then that really started helping me. But yeah, in the beginning I just tried to survive. I got sober in November, so there were a lot of parties and happy hours.
[00:21:49] Cait: Yeah.
[00:21:49] Gill: And I would go, and then I would cry in my car on the way home, but I went and I survived. And like every time I did something, I realized, like, it was better than when I did it drinking.
[00:22:04] Gill: And I also realized I am capable of doing it without drinking. And that's what helped the most - just experience.
[00:22:12] Cait: I know. Totally.
[00:22:14] Gill: And then to answer your question about business that took a long time to come in. So I'll be three years sober in November. So I'm like two and a half-ish, years sober. And when I was eight months sober, that's when I launched my podcast. Because I felt, I just felt a drive to help other people. Probably very similar to why you started your show.
[00:22:39] Cait: Exactly.
[00:22:40] Gill: And then, I did the grind for a very long time. And got like, one more listener. And another listener. And another Instagram follower.
[00:22:51] Cait: Yes.
[00:22:52] Gill: And I didn't realize that it could actually be like a big thing. I think until almost a full year later. And someone approached me and they wanted to sponsor my show and I was like, oh my God, someone wants to like be associated with me?
[00:23:08] Gill: Like they think my show is valuable? And that's kind of when it started coming in. And then, you know, my expertise grew and grew. And I learned a lot. And I started helping other podcasters with marketing and just with audience growth and that kind of thing. And I started speaking at podcasting conferences.
[00:23:28] Gill: That's when the business side came in. Because I met some amazing people at these conferences and they were like, look, you have something going on here that is amazing and special. And you need to, like, do something with this. And -
[00:23:46] Cait: ....yes.
[00:23:47] Gill: I will help you. And I met so many people that kept saying that to me. And they were very important people.
[00:23:53] Gill: And every time someone said that to me, I was like, no. Like, me? No. And then -
[00:24:00] Cait: ....yes! Yes you, yes, you!
[00:24:02] Gill: And then eventually, so many people said it to me. I was like, maybe. Like, maybe. And then I just started working on it. But it was...it was slow. I did the grind for years before I got to this point.
[00:24:15] Cait: Oh, but I mean, I think that's the most important part. Like a cup of coffee, the grind is the most important part, you know? Like how do you get that?
[00:24:23] Gill: Love that!
[00:24:23] Cait: Smooth, that smooth sip. You gotta grind those beans. But like also what is so inspiring, I think it just flows through in business and it flows through in recovery - you are focused on the journey, not the outcome. And I mean, I've heard, I listen to so many business podcasts because I'm obsessed with business and strategy…
[00:24:48] Cait: …And what do you do and how do you go about it. And what are your numbers and breaking it down quarterly. And yada da - there's so much. But the through line in every successful person I've ever listened to, whether it's in your recovery or it's in your business, is to not focus on the result, focus on the journey.
[00:25:06] Cait: And it seems like you went into everything. Really just trying to do it, you know? Hustle. Focus on what's ahead of you, focus on the next day. Even if that's surviving. And eating mozzarella sticks and binging podcasts, it's still valid. It's still important. And it builds and has built specifically for you a really strong foundation in both avenues, in both your recovery and, and your business.
[00:25:32] Cait: Not to say that having a strong foundation, doesn't allow for a little bit of a...a rocking in the walls or, you know, you have hiccups and cracks and that's okay. But to start small is absolutely allowed. And welcomed. More than allowed, it's welcomed. So now that you are where you are, what are you doing after this?
[00:25:56] Cait: Like, what's your next strategy? Like where do you see yourself in your recovery? And where do you see yourself in your business?
[00:26:05] Gill: So with my recovery, I need to continue to work on my maturity and my ability to handle stuff. I'm working on identifying patterns in my life. Well, I have identified the pattern.
[00:26:23] Gill: But I'm working on like, what do you do about that when you identify a pattern?
[00:25:27] Cait: Right. Yeah.
[00:26:29] Gill: Previously, there was so much morality and self-worth wrapped up in anything that I would try to identify a pattern and I would be like, you are bad. This means you are a loser. So I couldn't do anything about it. And now that I've mostly taken away the morality, I can see it as like more, you're the common denominator here.
[00:26:56] Gill: Something's happening in your perception of what's going on, that is leading to these situations repeating themselves. And what can we do about our perception to help that? And sometimes it's just removing yourself from the situation and accepting, you know, that it's not for you. Like I...the best example of this is I quit my job two months ago.
[00:27:23] Gill: Because I had built my business over years and years of work. But I quit my job to go full-time. And a huge part of that is because like, I just couldn't handle the culture. So I was a biochemist and I worked in a research lab in biotech. And there's a really toxic promotion culture in biotech, where there are so many levels.
[00:27:51] Gill: So many levels that there's almost this assumption that you're going to get promoted, like, every year. And that's not possible for most people. And there's so much gossip about people that get promoted that didn't deserve it. And then there's people that are left behind that get bitter and upset, and it just creates this really toxic culture.
[00:28:14] Gill: And I was one of the people that was left behind. And I had always linked career success to my self-worth. So it was hard for me to kind of let go of my aspirations to climb the ladder. But what I ended up realizing after, like, so many triggers kept happening that we're impacting my self-worth and making me feel bad about myself, they made me want to drink.
[00:28:42] Gill: And every time it happened, I realized like you don't have to work somewhere that makes you want to drink.
[00:28:49] Cait: Yeah.
[00:28:49] Gill: And like there's...there's triggers and there's feeling upset. And then there's being triggered so much that you want to drink. And like, I even started thinking like really bad things about myself.
[00:29:01] Gill: Like I did back when I was drinking. Which was the first time I had done that in years. And I just realized, like, it's not worth it. I was trying to do the grind to get the promotion and do the thing. And I tried to picture 45 -year-old Jill. I'm 32, for anyone listening.
[00:29:19] Cait: Yeah.
[00:29:21] Gill: And I tried to picture her and I'm going to be like, does she care that you did the grind and you got this next level?
[00:29:28] Gill: Like, is she going to care about that? And that's what helped me just leave. If I had not built up all this success, I would've just switched to a different job.
[00:29:40] Cait: Yeah.
[00:29:40] Gill: I'm not saying if you're triggered, quit your job, but...
[00:29:43] Cait: ...right.
[00:29:44] Gill: Yeah. So that gave me the push I needed to go full-time with this and like really go crazy on it and build it.
[00:29:52] Gill: Because now I have an additional 40 hours a week. And it's actually, like, really working out, so far.
[00:30:00] Cait: I love that.
[00:30:01] Gill: So, it's awesome.
[00:30:02] Cait: Yay. Well, congratulations.
[00:30:04] Gill: Thank you.
[00:30:05] Cait: That must be an… I can't imagine the conversations you had with yourself of like, the lists and the, do I do it? Do I not? And getting to the point of making that choice is a journey.
[00:30:17] Cait: So, yay. You said that you wanted to work on your maturity and stuff. And I don't want to dive too deep into it. But I think it's so great that you said it because I feel like sobriety is such a big thing to tackle, even when you have, like, almost three years. Or for me, almost two years in November.
[00:30:43] Cait: It always is evolving and changing in a really great way.
[00:30:47] Cait: Like, you're always coming to new marks and you're accomplishing new things and you're having all these big realizations. But with those good realizations come the kind of...accountable realizations where you learn that you can be better and you owe it to yourself to be better. And so I just like that vulnerability from you.
[00:31:06] Cait: I appreciate it. And so many people who are listening probably feel like, whoa, I don't want to tackle all this stuff. And like, I get it. But you can take it a day at a time and you can take it a task at a time and you can take it a trigger at a time. And it is okay to just one step in front of the other it.
[00:31:23] Cait: You don't have to grind-mentality your recovery. You can just take it slow. As we wrap up this incredible talk, chat, chalk. That's talk and chat combined. Hashtag it.
[00:31:38] Cait: For anybody who's listening, who's sober curious, who is new in their sobriety, who is 10 years into their sobriety and looking for a change or a perspective shift.
[00:31:49] Cait: What is the best tool that you could recommend for somebody's sober toolkit?
[00:31:54] Gill: I always recommend therapy because that's what's helped me the most. That's what I've seen has helped other people alot. I think we're too close to our own experience to be able to...
[00:32:05] Cait: ...yeah.
[00:32:06] Gill: Like make all these connections that help us build up self awareness. And a therapist can help guide you to connect like your past with how you currently think, feel and act. And help you understand, like, why are you thinking this way?
[00:32:24] Gill: Is it even accurate to think that way? So that has been the biggest help. I do recognize that not everybody has insurance or some people live in a space where like, therapy's just really not an option. So you can do these things for yourself too. Like through books, like reading a ton of books or listening to audio books. Listening to podcasts, because they'll be like some tips that will resonate with you.
[00:32:49] Gill: And then just trying to analyze your life more. Instead of looking at, like, the situation like, you suck, you're a loser. You're the worst. It's always going to be this way. Try to get more curious about it and look at it more like a case study that you can learn from instead of like what it must mean about you.
[00:33:09] Gill: And I think developing self-awareness and being able to, like, pause and think things through is the most critical thing for sobriety.
[00:33:18] Cait: Yes. Get comfortable with pausing. It's something I need to work on. So. I'll work on it with anybody else who's doing it. And thank you so much. Congratulations on quitting your job.
[00:33:32] Cait: Congratulations on all the new things that you're doing. And I'm going to hit you up in the DMs when I have marketing questions, because you know what you're doing.
[00:33:42] Gill: You got it.
[00:33:43] Cait: Okay, great.
[00:33:45] Cait: Do you want to enhance your sober care routine? Head to Clearheaded.co for tips, tricks tools and more on this episode. And if you're someone who likes to watch podcasts we are on YouTube. Clearheaded podcast is sponsored by Free Spirits. Head to drinkfreespirits.com and use code clearheaded20 for 20% off your first order.
[00:34:09] Cait: This episode was produced by Alexis Archuleta. All the music used was created by honeydu. Oh yeah, we have a Spotify playlist too. Ah, there's a lot to check out. Anyways. See you next week.