S3Ep30 || Sobriety isn’t linear with Cait + Sara
Sobriety isn't linear for everyone.
In this episode, Sara and I sit down and chat about the shame surrounding a non-linear sober journey. Specifically when the person is in the midst of that non-linear journey.
listen now →
✦ listener perk ✦
CLEARHEADED is sponsored by Free Spirits - use code CLEARHEADED20 for 20% off your first order.
-
[00:00:00] Sara: We've graduated college...but we're still drinking like we're in college and even worse, right? You know, like it only gets worse. So comparatively to people around me, I was like, I'm just doing the exact same thing that these people are doing. So it never occurred to me that I like maybe had a problem.
[00:00:17] Sara: And then it was brought to my attention that someone I used to party with was no longer partying and the way they phrased it to me is like, you have so much potential as a person and in your career and just everything. And I think you'd realize that potential if you focus less on partying.
[00:00:37] Cait: Welcome to the Clearheaded podcast, your guide to sober care.
[00:00:41] Cait: I'm your host, Cait, and I'm so glad that you're here. Maybe you're on your way to work or you're ready to wind down for the night, whatever the case may be - I'm really happy to be here with you. All of these episodes drop in on people's moments of clarity surrounding their sobriety. Before we get started on this conversation, I wanna ground each other with a little bit of breath work.
[00:01:04] Cait: Let's start by taking a big deep breath in...and out.
[00:01:14] Cait: Okay. Let's get Clearheaded.
[00:01:18] Cait: Sara and I are coming to you live. Not live, this is prerecorded. But live after a different interview that we did, that's gonna be airing later this month. And we have been recording with your friends.
[00:01:30] Sara: We have.
[00:01:31] Cait: I mean people that like, I wouldn't have known if it wasn't for you.
[00:01:35] Sara: Yeah.
[00:01:35] Cait: And it's been really interesting to see the dynamics of how different each of their relationships with alcohol substances has been.
[00:01:45] Sara: Yeah, totally.
[00:01:46] Cait: And I mean, you have a really unique relationship with, or had a really unique relationship with substances and alcohol. And I mean we always say...
[00:01:55] Sara: ...this is a theme for the next few episodes.
[00:01:58] Cait: Sobriety isn't linear for everyone. And I mean, we're talking about it the other day and I think that's kind of the inspo for this chat is like, the shame surrounding a non-linear sober journey. Specifically when the person is in the midst of that non-linear journey.
[00:02:15] Sara: Right.
[00:02:15] Cait: I think when anybody talks about, oh I'm sober, I'm a non-drinker. We just immediately assume that that's how they're gonna be forever.
[00:02:25] Cait: And if they're not, then they've failed.
[00:02:28] Sara: Right.
[00:02:28] Cait: And you have a history of what they say, hopping off the wagon.
[00:02:36] Sara: Yeah, totally.
[00:02:36] Cait: And where, like, I haven't had that experience yet. I mean, knock on wood, hopefully one day at a time right that it stays linear for me. But as somebody who is sober currently, has fallen off the wagon.
[00:02:54] Cait: Which is like, what an outdated term. Like what wagon? The bandwagon, I guess? But is being sober, like a jump on the bandwagon? Like, is everybody doing it where you're like, oh, we're gonna drop on the band wagon.
[00:03:05] Sara: Yeah I don't know where that phrase came from actually. On the wagon, off the wagon.
[00:03:09] Cait: Yeah, I wonder where that did come from. I think I'm gonna Google it - where did on the wagon… While I look it up, would you tell me... us about your journey with that.
[00:03:26] Sara: Yeah. So I feel like the first go around of my sobriety journey was like before I had gotten sober that first time, I had never thought about it.
[00:03:39] Sara: Like I had never been like, I have a problem I need to stop. Like, that was just my way of life.
[00:03:46] Cait: Mm-hmm.
[00:03:46] Sara: Was this never ending party.
[00:03:49] Cait: And everybody else in your life was kind of about the party too, right?
[00:03:51] Sara: Exactly. Like I was totally padding myself with people who also were like deep, deep in the drinking journey...
[00:04:01] Cait: Mm-hmm.
[00:04:01] Sara: ...of we've graduated college, but we're still drinking, like we're in college and even worse. You know, like it only gets worse.
[00:04:09] Cait: Right.
[00:04:10] Sara: So comparatively to people around me I was like, yeah, I'm just doing the exact same thing that these people are doing. So it never occurred to me that I like maybe had a problem.
[00:04:20] Sara: And then it was brought to my attention that someone I used to party with was no longer partying. And the way they phrased it to me is like, you have so much potential as a person and in your career and just everything. And I think you'd realize that potential if you focus less on partying and more on acting and like things that you actually love doing.
[00:04:50] Sara: And I think...
[00:04:52] Cait: ...so they weren't specifically, like you need to get sober.
[00:04:55] Sara: No. They were like, you have a lot of potential. Like I see a really bright future for you, but not if you continue to do what you're doing.
[00:05:05] Cait: Yeah.
[00:05:06] Sara: Because all of your energy is going towards partying. And I think that was like what I needed to hear at the time.
[00:05:12] Sara: And so, it was like... it planted the seed in my brain, but I don't think I was fully committed to it. Because I wasn't fully committed to dropping my friend group and getting rid of the people in my life who were also partying.
[00:05:30] Cait: Yeah.
[00:05:31] Sara: So that was a really like rocky road for me. But when I did kind of commit to it...
[00:05:38] Sara: ...I got out of a relationship that I was in, that was very heavy, revolving around drinking. I sort of...I just scaled things back. If I felt like I couldn't go out to dinner with a group of people, because I didn't wanna tell them I was sober or I might be triggered to drink, I just didn't go.
[00:05:55] Sara: So I was really doing things that were beneficial for my sobriety. But I didn't have a community. And I felt like I was kind of doing it on my own. And that was easy in the beginning. But I think around month six, month seven, month eight, not having a community and not feeling like I had a place or people to like lean on...the temptations or like the fear of missing out, started to override the like... plus of being sober.
[00:06:30] Cait: Yeah.
[00:06:31] Sara: So it's not like I accidentally drank one night or made a really impulsive decision where I was like at a bar and I was still sober. And all of a sudden I got convinced to drink.
[00:06:42] Cait: Right.
[00:06:43] Sara: It was like something I had been thinking about for a while. And I had sort of, I was like, I feel like I can do this.
[00:06:49] Sara: I feel like I can slowly introduce alcohol back into my life. And like I can manage it and I can have a grip on it. And so, like I thought about it for a long time and didn't actually do it. And then I felt like I was ready to do it. So I did it. And I initially had a like kind of an intense bulldoze at it. Like...
[00:07:17] Cait: ...what do you mean?
[00:07:18] Sara: Like for the first like month or so, I feel like I maintained it pretty well. I had really strong boundaries surrounding it. And then...
[00:07:27] Cait: Like...like…
[00:07:29] Sara: Like I would never drink alone. Like I would never...I wouldn't drink like multiple nights in a row.
[00:07:35] Cait: Right.
[00:07:35] Sara: I wouldn't have more than like two glasses of wine.
[00:07:38] Sara: I wasn't doing hard alcohol. I wasn't taking shots of things. Like I was sort of like easing my way back into it. Like I was like, oh, I'm gonna have a glass of wine. I can do that.
[00:07:48] Cait: Right.
[00:07:48] Sara: I can have one glass of wine, which worked for a little bit, you know, until it didn't.
[00:07:52] Cait: I mean the first night that you decided to drink it again, like, what was that night like? Like did you balls to the walls it? Or were you like, okay, yeah, I'm gonna have one glass.
[00:08:03] Sara: I had one glass of wine and I was so hungover the next day because I hadn't had any alcohol for like eight months.
[00:08:09] Cait: But to yourself, you said, see, I can do it.
[00:08:12] Sara: Totally. See I can do it. But I also was like, I don't really miss this hangover.
[00:08:16] Sara: So I waited like another two weeks. I didn't drink for two weeks after that. And then I was in another social setting where I felt like, it'd be easier to be here if I had a glass of wine or whatever, a beer. So it kind of started like that. And then like very quickly snowballed.
[00:08:33] Cait: It's so interesting.
[00:08:35] Sara: Mm-hmm.
[00:08:35] Cait: Like, we've talked about this. I mean, if you're listening for the first time, Sara and I are dating. But have been dating for a long time., Got sober together pretty much.
[00:08:45] Sara: Yeah.
[00:08:46] Cait: And we've talked about this, but hearing it back, I'm like, aha. You what you did seems to me obviously, correct me if I'm wrong, but you were like, I think that I can enter it back in as a tool of coping.
[00:09:03] Sara: Yeah.
[00:09:03] Cait: Like I'm gonna...I thought that I couldn't rely on this. It wasn't healthy. I'm gonna scratch that narrative and I'm gonna reintroduce it as a way of coping and I won't abuse it.
[00:09:14] Sara: Yeah.
[00:09:15] Sara: And I think I did a lot of work.
[00:09:17] Cait: Mm-hmm.
[00:09:18] Sara: Like self work when I was sober for those eight months. Like I went to therapy. I really like uncovered a lot of things that I had been burying, like deep down inside of me in regards...
[00:09:28] Cait: Which is a lot.
[00:09:28] Sara: To like sexual assault and sexuality.
[00:09:31] Cait: Yeah.
[00:09:31] Sara: And like a lot of these things floated to the surface for me that I had just shoving down with booze. So I think in my mind, I was trying to convince myself that I didn't have a problem with alcohol. I just was hurting and I had healed.
[00:09:47] Cait: Right.
[00:09:48] Sara: I had healed. And so...
[00:09:50] Cait: Quotes around the healed. And I mean, there is parts of it.
[00:09:52] Sara: I did, yeah.
[00:09:53] Cait: Healing is layered.
[00:09:55] Sara: And also healing is not linear. Like there were things that I talked about. But you can talk and talk and talk, but like, I was still figuring things out. I was still figuring out what triggered me, what was traumatic to me. What my sexuality looked like.
[00:10:13] Cait: And you were in a relationship with a woman. I mean, you were living with a woman.
[00:10:16] Sara: I was, yeah.
[00:10:18] Cait: You had cats with this woman.
[00:10:19] Sara: Briefly.
[00:10:20] Cait: Briefly had cats with this woman.
[00:10:21] Sara: Like one week. And then I was like, ugh it's too serious.
[00:10:26] Sara: Yeah. And she was sober. So that was like-
[00:10:29] Cait: Which is just so interesting because it's like, I think for so many people who listen to like our story or like, we go listen to other people's story and you're like...
[00:10:40] Cait: ...wow it seems like they were in a relationship with somebody who was sober. It was a person that they actually were attracted to. Guess what? You had that with a different person. You were also in a relationship with a woman for the first time, quote, unquote like, you know, serious relationship with somebody who you are now felt more aligned with in terms of gender, who you wanted to be with.
[00:11:05] Cait: You were still in the situation of living with a fellow sober woman. And it still wasn't it. It's like the same ingredients, but different.
[00:11:18] Sara: Yeah.
[00:11:18] Cait: To what you have now.
[00:11:19] Sara: And I, well, I think also I was in a relationship with a man.
[00:11:25] Cait: Before getting sober.
[00:11:26] Sara: Before getting sober and while getting sober.
[00:11:29] Cait: Right.
[00:11:29] Sara: Like that was sort of at the tail end of our relationship is when I got sober. And one of the like things that really drove a wedge between us.
[00:11:37] Cait: Right.
[00:11:37] Sara: Not that there wasn't tons of other things, but it was like the final straw for me, where I was like, I actually can't be around you because you're doing all of the things that I'm so...
[00:11:45] Cait: ...triggered by.
[00:11:46] Sara: Vehemently trying to get away from.
[00:11:47] Cait: Right.
[00:11:48] Sara: So...but then I just was so lonely and so scared and sober.
[00:11:55] Cait: Right.
[00:11:55] Sara: And didn't have that community. So I jumped into another relationship prematurely.
[00:12:00] Cait: Right.
[00:12:01] Sara: Before I was ready to do that, emotionally ready to do that. I had just sort of like started to figure out my sexuality and be okay with it. And figure out all of this like internalized, honestly, like homophobia that I wasn't even aware of.
[00:12:14] Sara: Like, so I jumped into this relationship before I was even super comfortable with like where I was at on so many journeys. Like my sober journey. My sexuality journey. My trauma journey. So I was still hurting so much and flailing, and I didn't know it at the time. Like I thought I was just pulling things close to me because I was scared and alone.
[00:12:43] Sara: And they weren't, they were never the right things. And I think I always knew that. But I was too scared to walk this path alone.
[00:12:52] Cait: Yeah.
[00:12:53] Sara: But what happens when you do that, is that eventually you can't lie to yourself anymore and you know that like this isn't working so many things weren't working for me.
[00:13:04] Sara: And so I blew them all up. I blew up my sobriety. I blew up my relationship. Not that it was like, none of them were what I wanted at the time.
[00:13:12] Cait: Yeah.
[00:13:12] Sara: I wasn't doing the sober thing right. I wasn't doing the relationship thing right.
[00:13:16] Cait: Right.
[00:13:17] Sara: And I think I also just like, I really needed to prove to myself that sobriety is what I needed, because I think I hadn't fully let go of it.
[00:13:30] Sara: I was like...
[00:13:31] Cait: ...there was a judgment on it?
[00:13:32] Sara: There was a judgment on it. There was like a - I don't know if I could do this for the rest of my life kind of thing. And then it was like, I just sort of transferred it onto like, oh, I had all this trauma, that's why I was drinking so much.
[00:13:42] Cait: Right.
[00:13:43] Sara: It wasn't the alcohol.
[00:13:44] Cait: Right.
[00:13:45] Sara: But it was...
[00:13:46] Cait: I mean, it's twofold. It can too can be a truth at the same time, you can be drinking that much because of the trauma. And it'd also be really problematic that you're drinking that much.
[00:13:53] Sara: And that alcohol's actually super addicting.
[00:13:56] Cait: Yes.
[00:13:56] Sara: And so I had this like huge dependency on it.
[00:13:59] Cait: Absolutely.
[00:14:01] Sara: Anyway, all of that to say, I tried to go back to drinking. I managed it for like a little bit. And then spiraled. And then self-regulated and brought it back to kind of like a normal-normal...
[00:14:18] Cait: Right.
[00:14:18] Sara: Consumption rate, which was like incredibly hard for me.
[00:14:22] Cait: It's a lot of work.
[00:14:23] Sara: It was so hard for me because I do have a problem with substances.
[00:14:28] Cait: Yeah.
[00:14:28] Sara: But I was like white knuckling it. So I would think so much about booze, but I was like, but you're not allowed to have it. So I'm just like walking on this line of like, and then I'd allow myself to have it sometimes and I wouldn't over indulge. But it just got to a point where honestly, we were...
[00:14:50] Sara: ...such bad influences on each other when it came to drinking.
[00:14:54] Cait: So bad.
[00:14:54] Sara: My boundaries went completely out the window.
[00:14:57] Cait: I know me too.
[00:14:57] Sara: We were just drinking more than ever. And when you were like, I need to get sober. I was like, thank God, me too. Like, I was like, I just knew my life was so much better and I had so much more capability and so much more potential when I wasn't fixated on booze all the time.
[00:15:24] Sara: And so when you said that, there was never, it wasn't like a codependent thing, like you're gonna get sober. I'm gonna get sober. No, it was like...
[00:15:30] Cait: ...aha! Yeah.
[00:15:31] Sara: This is the best thing for both of us. Genuinely.
[00:15:34] Cait: I know.
[00:15:35] Sara: And even if our relationship hadn't worked out, like I'd still be sober.
[00:15:39] Cait: I think so too.
[00:15:40] Sara: Yeah. Like, I mean, maybe it wouldn't have been as linear or as easy, whatever.
[00:15:44] Cait: Right.
[00:15:44] Sara: But I know ultimately now, that I like my life a lot better being sober.
[00:15:51] Cait: I know. And you know, what's just so beautiful about your whole journey. What I said about you can have all the pieces that you think you need to check off and it's still not be right, right then. That's a beautiful example. Because I think so many times, I mean, I can put it to me.
[00:16:11] Cait: I don't know if anybody else who's listening feels this way or is in the middle of feeling this way. But I would listen and watch so many people who were sober and listen to them say all the tools that they did. And all the steps that they did. And all the people that they had and think, well, I don't have that.
[00:16:28] Cait: So it's not gonna work for me, or I can't do that, or I don't wanna do that. And I don't wanna take those pieces and apply them to myself. And the truth is, is that you are a perfect example of somebody who could take all the pieces that you now in this phase of your life are successful with having at a different point in your life.
[00:16:50] Cait: And it not be right for you. So even furthermore, like we say, and like, I think I just used the example the other day that sobriety is like a thumbprint, like everybody's is so freaking different.
[00:17:02] Sara: Mm-hmm.
[00:17:03] Cait: But it's even more different.. it’s like a thumbprint if it aged and changed every year. Like your ears, your nose never stop growing, did you know that?
[00:17:11] Sara: Yeah.
[00:17:12] Cait: That's how sobriety is. It is always different. What's gonna fit you one year, wouldn't fit you the next.
[00:17:17] Sara: Totally. Like I even think about this conversation we were just having with a different guest. But I used to like, kind of go to bars in my early sobriety, because I was trying to prove to myself that I could go to bars and not drink.
[00:17:33] Cait: Yeah.
[00:17:33] Sara: And now I'm sort of just like really uninterested in doing that.
[00:17:36] Cait: Right.
[00:17:36] Sara: Like I don't really wanna be in a bar. And it's not because I'm like scared or I'm triggered. Like I'm gonna drink.
[00:17:43] Cait: Or a judgment.
[00:17:44] Sara: It's just like, not fun for me ‘cause I don't drink.
[00:17:47] Cait: Right.
[00:17:47] Sara: Like, so I'm just like, why would I go there?
[00:17:49] Cait: Right.
[00:17:49] Sara: It's not like, oh, I can't be in a bar, get me out of there. But like that wasn't always how it was for me. Like, I was like, I can go to a bar and hang.
[00:17:57] Cait: Yeah.
[00:17:58] Sara: And then I just got really honest about it and I was like, but I don't want to.
[00:18:01] Cait: Yeah.
[00:18:02] Sara: And that's something that like, you just… things change and evolve and like what you prioritize or what you want also shift and change.
[00:18:11] Cait: Totally. Totally. And I love that, that journey that has been your journey. And like, who knows what our individual journeys and our together journeys will be like...as we go. Because we don't want to put this pressure and we don't preach to put this pressure on yourself of like one lifetime at a time it's one day.
[00:18:30] Sara: Yeah.
[00:18:30] Cait: I mean, even good... what is it called?
[00:18:34] Sara: Precursor.
[00:18:35] Cait: Precursor for next week's episode of 10 minutes at a time.
[00:18:39] Sara: Yeah, literally.
[00:18:40] Cait: Holy moly that is game changer. ‘Cause it is how I apply it. You just take it increments at a time. Temptations at a time.
[00:18:46] Sara: Yeah.
[00:18:46] Cait: Breathe through it. But also like take it a trial at a time.
[00:18:51] Sara: Mm-hmm.
[00:18:52] Cait: Zoom it in really narrow to 10 minutes, and zoom it out to however long you can have two years. And decide to pivot.
[00:19:00] Sara: Yeah.
[00:19:00] Cait: Eight months, like you, and decide to pivot.
[00:19:02] Sara: And for me, I needed that eight months to feel really secure in my sobriety.
[00:19:06] Cait: Yeah.
[00:19:07] Sara: Like I feel so secure in it now personally, like as my journey, because I did do it, not do it.
[00:19:16] Cait: You went back.
[00:19:17] Sara: Struggle with it.
[00:19:18] Cait: You had to see.
[00:19:18] Sara: Yeah. And for me now knowing like - it's like I drank the Kool-Aid.
[00:19:24] Cait: Mm-hmm.
[00:19:25] Sara: And the Kool-Aid wasn't great.
[00:19:26] Cait: Mm-hmm.
[00:19:27] Sara: I didn't die from it.
[00:19:28] Cait: Right.
[00:19:29] Sara: You know for some people it's a lot more serious than it was for me.
[00:19:32] Cait: Absolutely.
[00:19:33] Sara: And so I can talk about it lightly because nothing bad happened.
[00:19:36] Sara: I didn't, you know, do anything to like damage my life.
[00:19:40] Cait: Right.
[00:19:40] Sara: But it's part of my journey.
[00:19:43] Cait: Mm-hmm.
[00:19:43] Sara: And now I feel like, absolutely, this is the right choice for me.
[00:19:48] Cait: I think it's also like really good to note that you can, if you go back, if you try to implement alcohol and you find like you can manage it. Let's say can. I'm saying can loosely ‘cause like, I don't really know.
[00:20:01] Cait: Even if you like, your example you did manage it.
[00:20:04] Sara: Mm-hmm.
[00:20:05] Cait: But you put a lot of brain work into managing that.
[00:20:09] Sara: Yeah.
[00:20:09] Cait: So even if you're like, somebody is having your journey and even less severe, like maybe they can just have a glass of wine with dinner or they do, but they don't like it.
[00:20:17] Cait: It can be that small of a reason to go back to living a sober life.
[00:20:21] Sara: Mm-hmm.
[00:20:21] Cait: Just because you go to a substance again, whether that's weed, alcohol, prescription drugs, you know. As big or as little in severity of like, whatever you're trying to manage. You don't have to hit a rock bottom to go back to sobriety.
[00:20:44] Cait: Your journey can be just as, yeah, I tried it and it made me really hung over the next day. And I think I like my life better sober.
[00:20:50] Sara: Mm-hmm.
[00:20:50] Cait: Because I think a lot of times we think, oh, if we're fitting in society, then yeah, it's working for me and I don't need to, I don't need to cut it out. And that's also why it keeps ebbing and flowing.
[00:21:01] Cait: But really also, the reason we're having this conversation with you is because Sara is sitting in on the next few episodes that you listen to. Because as we said, we talked to her friends and really the theme for the next three episodes is, sobriety isn't linear. And we're, we -
[00:21:20] Sara: Or it is.
[00:21:20] Cait: Or it is. Or it's really doesn't have to linear.
[00:21:23] Sara: Yeah.
[00:21:24] Cait: And I just wanted to take a second just to say like these next two episodes in particular could be a little triggering. And we want to have these conversations, and we did have these conversations because I think what's so important is to not feel judged when you're in any freaking phase of your recovery.
[00:21:45] Cait: I think it's important to hear conversations with no judgment because the fear of being judged is really what like pushes people into isolation, into these dark holes, into this idea that they've failed. And so they can't reach out to anybody, they can't elaborate, they can't learn. They can't go back.
[00:22:05] Cait: And although so far, my journey has been linear. I just want to treat people the way I would want to be treated. And that's why Sara and I had these kind of hard conversations with guests who is no longer sober, is in the middle of deciding to reintroduce weed back into their life. And I just, I don't know. I just want to... warn isn't even the right word, because I think you can really get something out of these conversations.
[00:22:39] Cait: For me like I left this, the conversation feeling more certain of my sobriety than I did before, and I didn't even know I could. I mean, how did you feel?
[00:22:49] Sara: Yeah. I felt the same and I also sort of, it resonated with me in a way that's like something I've always known is that you have to do it for yourself.
[00:22:57] Cait: Yeah.
[00:22:58] Sara: You can't do it for anyone else. There's not, there's no world in which you're forced to get sober and you stay sober and enjoy it.
[00:23:05] Cait: Yeah.
[00:23:06] Sara: Like those three things don't equal a cake.
[00:23:10] Cait: Right.
[00:23:10] Sara: It's like...
[00:23:11] Cait: ...it's so true.
[00:23:12] Sara: You know, it's like putting water and an egg and whatever.
[00:23:16] Cait: Yeah.
[00:23:16] Sara: Like butter.
[00:23:17] Cait: Totally.
[00:23:17] Sara: You're not gonna get a cake out of that.
[00:23:18] Cait: Yeah.
[00:23:19] Sara: You have to want it. You have to make that choice for yourself. You have to do the right steps. You have to do the work. And even then it still might not be linear, but it really just has to be for yourself and no one else.
[00:23:30] Cait: Yeah.
[00:23:31] Sara: And I've never like, felt more sure of that.
[00:23:34] Cait: Really, truly.
[00:23:34] Sara: Because this episode that we have is not like someone that, I mean, when I, when I met them, they were very secure in their sobriety and it never occurred to me that maybe it wasn't their choice to get sober.
[00:23:47] Cait: Mm-hmm.
[00:23:47] Sara: Like any of those things. So you just never know what someone's story is.
[00:23:51] Cait: Yeah.
[00:23:51] Sara: You never know what someone's sobriety journey is like. So, yeah. It just reaffirmed a lot of things for me, which I think is, and resonated with me, ‘cause that was like my journey too.
[00:24:00] Cait: Yeah. And I think, you know, most people or a lot of people who are on the fence of, or at the phase where you are at, when you hit eight months of, I'm gonna start thinking about reimplementing this back into my life.
[00:24:15] Cait: I think it's way more common than we talk about.
[00:24:18] Sara: Mm-hmm.
[00:24:18] Cait: And that we discuss. And it's really actually very normal that people try it and see if they can manage it. And I think the more we can remove shame from those trial and errors specifically when people are in the middle of those trial and errors.
[00:24:38] Cait: The better.
[00:24:39] Sara: I agree.
[00:24:40] Cait: The less big of a deal it's going to feel to go back to being sober. Or ask the questions that you need to ask to the people who are qualified to help you answer them.
[00:24:49] Sara: Yeah, totally.
[00:24:51] Cait: Because it's really important to talk to the right people and the people who can help you in the right way.
[00:24:57] Cait: So, next week is part one of a two-parter. We talk with Kelsey, who's Sara's friend. And the first part is all about her choice to be sober, what she learned, where it was beneficial, why she did it. And the second part is why she right now is choosing not to be sober. It could be triggering for some people.
[00:25:22] Cait: So I really implore you to think about it before you listen to it. And if you are on the fence, to talk to your therapist, talk to your sponsor, or maybe just skip the episodes. And after that two-parter, we have a completely different pendulum swing of an interview with somebody who's been linear in their sobriety for over 10 years.
[00:25:44] Cait: What that story looks like -
[00:25:46] Sara: By the way, who's our age.
[00:25:48] Cait: Who's our age, yeah. So I think the, the next few episodes are going to be really, really enlightening. And I really hope that it resonates with people. Certainly resonated with me. And even Kelsey said she left the episode having a different understanding of herself before she sat down and talked to us.
[00:26:05] Sara: Mm-hmm.
[00:26:05] Cait: So you're going to go through that journey with us. If you're ready, if you feel prepared and safe enough and secure enough. And I guess we'll talk to you next week.
[00:26:16] Sara: Signing off.
[00:26:18] Cait: Do you wanna enhance your sober care routine? Head to Clearheaded.co for tips, tricks tools, and more on this episode. And if you're someone who likes to watch podcasts, we are on YouTube. Clearheaded podcast is sponsored by Free Spirits.
[00:26:35] Cait: Head to drinkfreespirits.com and use code clearheaded20 for 20% your first order.
[00:26:41] Cait: This episode was recorded at The Wave podcasting studios, and produced by Alexis Archuleta. All the music used was created by honeydu. Oh yeah, we have a Spotify playlist too. There's a lot to check out. Anyways. See you next week.